His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
