After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have already put on my inside pants.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
