god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
