Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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