So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
