That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
