If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
