John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize