Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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