you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
