that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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