I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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