i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
