My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am available for nakedness
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
