They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
