Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
