Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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