it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
