I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
