so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
