OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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