Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
