i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize