then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Text me some of your sweat
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
