Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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