I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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