He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
