he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
