sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
