check it out our google latitudes are spooning
only if we run a train.
done.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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