can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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