Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
