I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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