And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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