Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
