im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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