"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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