You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
