what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
