the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
