I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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