Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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