the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
