I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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