my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
