White coat. Heels.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
