Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
one might say we're banned from that church
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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