We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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