can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
