I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
