Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i barfeds in our rink
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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