i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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