The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
