I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
