He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
