I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
